And just like that.....

I am quite the reserved person! It may not seem like it but there are tons of things I don't speak about or say aloud. Most of the time I would just rather listen to people. I hate sharing facts about myself which in turn makes me a horrible conversationalist at times. I hate when someone asks me to tell them about myself! I honestly have nothing to say. That all is really not relevant to what exactly this post is about. So here goes nothing: BUCKET LIST: 1. Become a head football coach for a large football university 2. Go to New Orleans and volunteer 3. Volunteer with the special Olympics 4. Preach a Sermon 5. Act in a play 6. Paint a picture that I truly love 7. Teach someone else to play cello 8. Travel outside of the country 9. Model in a fashion show 10. Dance 11. Tell myself I'm beautiful and really mean it 12. Adopt a dog 13. Own a car 14. Own a house 15. Have a conversation In ASL with a Deaf person 16. Go to every college football school and sit in the stands as one o...

A couple of days ago I received some news that hurt me. I realize I have never dealt with a past issue. I hate having to deal with a broken heart! It hurts so much.

I LOVE SPORTS!! More specifically Football and Basketball! But love all the same! When I say I mean love!! I'm not watching just to see men in tight pants or how good someone looks today! Granted I'm a female and at times this does happen but I honestly have a love for the game! My goal is to work in college football and depending on how ambitious I'm feeling potentially coach college football! I love it that much. I'm not able to describe the natural high I get from watching it on television, or being on the field, or just even talking about it! It feels so natural! I can't imagine doing anything else with the rest of my life! Needless to say it drives me BONKERS to hear guys degrade women as if they have no idea what they're talking about! Really though? It's that hard for you to believe that during the fall, on every Saturday morning in high school I woke up early to watch ESPN (because if you didn't know College Day was on) only then to pick a spot o...

My mind has been racing lately mostly because the issue of rape and rape victims has been coming up a lot lately. Especially on TV! I feel as if I come to terms with what happened to me I won't be able to watch SVU anymore! Every episode is rooted in this and half of them deal with children. I just can't! Maybe this is God's way of telling me that I need to return to therapy to reconcile my issues. In the mean time I'm not sure how much more I can handle of this!

I have recently encountered this comment numerous times in the past couple of weeks! I would say that I am enraged about this comment but I think that this would only assist in the statement. I just don't understand why this is the perception. I would like to think that I'm a pretty positive person. I love being optimistic. I think that there is so much negative in the world and it's easy to focus on that but so much harder to see the good in the little things! I have been really trying to do that. But hearing comments like, "That's why a lot of black men aren't with black women is because they're angry" kills my soul! I love black men and to know that because they assume I'm angry means they won't approach me makes me sad. Are black women defensive, maybe. I know I am and at times I try not to be but I hate being felt like I'm being underestimated. Some of that may be own personal belief but I can't help it. But that doesn't mean t...

So I have a ton of posts that I have yet to finish!! But this one is short and sweet! I need to better manage my money! I'm spending like I don't have a care in the world...when clearly I do!! I need to do better! Much better! I need to go to the bank and invest money and then stick to a budget for real! I just need to be more responsible! It's not a joke anymore! I need help! I can't keep living like this! I'm terrible!

I have been thinking a lot about society and this put yourself first mentality. I understand taking care of yourself first but it just feels like to me that most people have forgotten about community. I'm honestly just tired of us as people being selfish!! I can't take it anymore and yes I am including myself in this!