Yesterday, I found that my Aunt Lou (my grandmother's sister) passed. This is my first time dealing with the of someone so close to me. When my sisters and I spent summers in Detroit we spent a majority of our time with her. It has been hard for me to deal with mostly because my grandmother has lost both of her younger sisters. The only thing I can think of is that my grandmother being the oldest is going to be gone soon as well.
I have always had difficulty standing up for myself or voicing my voice as the young folks say. Speaking my mind and expressing my thoughts and ideas terrifies me. I'm not confident in my opinions and often worry that I'm wrong. These thoughts are only heightened by my ever present anxiety. I'm constantly overthinking and concerned that no one wants to hear what I have to say. To me, my thoughts don't matter to anyone other than myself. My voice often shakes and gets quiet when I'm trying to express myself. I am either worried that my opinions will harm/offend or will go unnoticed. There are several moments over the course of my life where I regret not speaking up or saying something that was on my mind. There is a constant internal struggle that happens every time I faced with a moment to express myself. More often than not, I end up silencing myself. Which I can openly admit has done nothing for me. All I ended up with was a nagging regret that I should have sa...
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