And just like that.....

When I first started this blog I was at a crossroads in life. I had just graduated from the University of Michigan with BA in Sociology and had no idea what was next for me. I was dealing with such inner turmoil and really needed to focus on myself. I fought against this. Instead choosing to berate myself for not being on the same level as my friends were. I lived in shame and despair not willing face the demons that haunted my sleep. With much love and support I came to terms with the darkness I ran from and with that positive things started to happen: 1. I applied for a Masters program 2. Moved away 3. Ended a toxic relationship 4. Lost a "friend" 5. Went back to therapy While some of those instances may not sound positive, for me they were. In hindsight can truthfully say that I am where I should be. As of May 7th, I graduated with my Masters (although I still have some hours to finish for my internship), and have been accepted into a PhD program. Me!!! In four...

It has been mighty long time since I have been in this space. Life has gotten the best of me and I let myself get caught up in the whirlwind. In the midst of this cyclone of life, I didn't take care of me. I made several strides to better myself. I am still in school and have been doing extremely well. School is honestly the only thing I have been excelling at. In light of this I intend on making strides toward bettering myself. I am attempting to come up with ways in which to do so. Here is what I have thus far: 1. Yoga/physical activity: I have always been intrigued with the beauty and art that is yoga. One of the things that truly speaks to me is the foundation of loving thine self and doing what is best for you. My progression has be slow but I am growing in confidence. I am open and willing to any suggestions for growing a home practice. My new positions in life have offered me quite a bit of sitting. My body is not used to being sedentary, because of this I am constant...

I have bouts of self doubt. At times it can be really bad. I've been working on re-learning to love myself. Well to love myself in general. I can't actually remember a time where I did. Which is actually hard to admit. Like, there are honestly times when I genuinely don't like myself. And I don't mean as I person. I think I'm an amazing human being with a great personality. I'm funny, intelligent, compassionate, and understanding. But when it comes to looks...it's a completely different story.  I can look at a picture of myself and think to myself that I just took a good picture not that I'm just beautiful. People look at me all the time and tell me that I'm gorgeous, beautiful, sexy or whatever other adjective that women strive to be called. I look in the mirror and see none of that. Because of this belief I am convinced that nobody will find me attractive and want to be with me. Sound crazy? Yeah. I know.  I can't help the way I fee...

Not quite sure. I made my big move. Currently residing in MI. Just registered for my first semester of graduate classes. About to put in work for a real grown up people job. Been doing hella thinking. Making cuts. A little confused. Stressed. Blah.

Dr. Seuss was a genius. Get. Into. It.  “I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living." “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”  “A person's a person, no matter how small.”  “Being crazy isn't enough.” “I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!” “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”  “If things start happening, don't worry, don't stew, just go right along and you'll start happening too.” “You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.” “I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.”  “I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, but down here at the bottom we, too, should have r...

Due to the fuckedupness that is my past I am very protective of my personal space.  Like, very protective.  I don't care for being touched or having people too close to me.  Just not a fan.  So, it bothers me when people feel that they have the rights to just put their hands on me. I understand you want my attention or my smile makes me seem welcoming but I don't know you, nor am I sure if I like you and most importantly I do not want you touching me!!  So...just keep ya hands to yaself.  No, but really.  Just speak up.  I have to really be sure I want you touching me.  I know that sounds rude and bitchey but trust me it's not about you.  Well, maybe a little but mostly about me.  I'm just now becoming aware that I have say over what happens to my body.  I am the only person who can touch me whenever I want.  Just because you see me and I look good or whatever the case may be doesn't mean that you can just grab on me. ...

Every once and a while I go through a woe is me phase. It's hit me yet again. Don't get me wrong I'm still riding my wave of excitement about getting into grad school and moving! Things are still very surreal for me. I'm so ready to get this new phase in my life started. I just really wish I had someone to share this with... I've been longing for a partner for quite some time.  I'm very understanding to the fact that I needed to work on me first. Which I'm thankful for. I needed that me time. I spend a lot of time making sure that everyone around me is doing well that I forgot about me.  These past 6 moths have been cathartic and healing.  I needed every second it. I'm just at a place where I'm longing for companionship.  I joke about being a cat lady but I don't really want that...at all.