And just like that.....

I have been trying to write this post for the longest! And clearly I am still struggling. I was originally intrigued by Janelle Monae and this line ("Underdogs Stand Tall") from her Tight Rope remix. Not only did she kill her verse she got me to thinking. Underdogs are Amazing! What makes an Underdog: Well according to Merriam and Webster: An Underdog is: 1: a loser or predicted loser in a struggle or contest 2: a victim of injustice or persecution So this small little phrase stood out to me. You see I'm an underdog in just about every sense of the word. I am an African-American female. I come from a single-parent home. And I survived sexual abuse as a child. Yes, both of my parents graduated from Michigan but they were both first generation college students. Basically everything has said that I wouldn't make it out of high school let alone graduate college. And I have done both with a little bit of grace thrown in there. And as for my after college endeavor...

It really bothers me that celebrities are treated as Greek Gods now-a-days! Just because your acting ability, athleticism, writing, or lyricism sets you apart from us common folk doesn't mean that you shouldn't face your consequences. I mean if I were to get caught toting an AK47 and a pound of contraband drugs there's no telling how fast they would throw me under a jail! But that seems to be the trend for MCs today! Get caught on possession and boost your career to the next level. If you don't want to go to jail than don't do illegal things! I thought everybody knew that! I'm not down for wearing shirts that say FREE so-and-so! For what? Cause I would bet everything in my name that they wouldn't dare do the same for me! So why bother...they will probably only serve a year or less in very lavish jail, be sentenced to community service or asked to continue making movies but leave the country! What? How is that possible! Just because you provide entertainment ...

This song made me think. I hate liars. I think one of the worst things you can be is a liar, except this rule doesn't apply to myself. I have been lying to myself for years and it some ways I love it. To tell myself for all these years that I'm fine and act like nothing ever happened...that's some lie. So recently I have been trying to face myself and these lies and it's one the most difficult things I have done. All because I love the way you lied...a little bit of me too

I miss the simpler days. The days when I used to go into our basement and play my cello for hours. Not necessarily because I needed to practice but because I loved the feel of the instrument in my hands. I played everyday I could, then I came to college: And the playing stopped. And I have never been unhappier. Someone once told me you can tell how hectic a musicians life has become because they haven't touched their instrument. And I'm going through withdrawal to the max! I love music and listening to it isn't working for me anymore. I need to make/create music. There is something about feeling the music making it come from your soul and I miss it. My fingers are yearning to form notes and I'm dying to stroke the strings. I just need to play.

If only I knew! It seems that no matter what, I am just not what guys are interested in. I have never been able to understand this. I'm very understanding and don't jump to conclusions. I LOVE sports meaning we could watch the games together! I don't like romance movies meaning when we go to the movies my date wouldn't have to sit in boredom as I shed tears over the same ole generic romance plot! I tend to think I'm pretty smart...I mean I graduated from high school with an Advanced diploma and survived Michigan! People have told me I'm pretty funny so that means you would be entertained. And everyday of my life my mother made it point to tell me how beautiful I am! And even with all of this I'm still not "beating them away with a stick." And this confuses me. All my guy friends have always come to me for advice on girls..sometimes someone I'm very close to. And not to put down other people but what is that they have I don't? It just seems...

On Monday morning my mother and I made the long 8/9 hour drive back to VA! Although we were held up by a terrible accident that completely stopped traffic for about an hour and a half our drive was pretty much uneventful! I'm not exactly sure what has come over my mother, maybe she really is happy to have me home, but whatever it is I'm happy! I never thought that we could be trapped up in a car for hours and not have a single disagreement. It was great. Once we pulled up my sister was outside waiting for us and gave me the biggest hug ever! She missed me..that much! And that felt great! I stopped by old job, and though a few were thrown off by my new look, they were excited to see me and couldn't wait for me to come back. And that felt great! So as much as I was worried about coming back home everything has been working out well. Which makes me feel that at least that for now I'm supposed to be home! All I can say is that, when I make my return to Ann Arbor, and I do m...

I'm really going to miss everyone in Ann Arbor! I have so many memories and made so many wonderful friends that it's going to be hard saying goodbye! I don't have anything eloquent to say about my departure. Just know that a lot of people have impacted my life here and I don't know how I'm going to feel being so far from them all....

In about 4 days I will be saying farewell to Ann Arbor. And like I said before I'm excited to be going home but there is also a saddens that surrounds my move. I have done a lot of growing, changing, experiencing, and evolving here! So to have to say farewell to all of that is going to be difficult. I will miss: 1. Second Baptist!! I learned a lot about myself at this church. I am glad to call this my church home because without them I would probably be a hot mess! The one thing I can say faithfully is that my journey with them is not over! There are still things that need to be done here I will be back! 2. My friends!! I have met so many different people here. Some that will never leave, some that kept me entertained during class and others that I have drifted away from. But they all had a part in Michigan experience. 3. Gamma Delta! I have been through a lot with these young women and couldn't have asked to be part of a better, more productive, or more illustrious chapter!! T...

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited to go home. I usually hesitate when it comes time for me to answer. I'm trying to make it seem like I hate Michigan because I don't. I have accomplished a lot since I have been here and that's nothing to look over. But truthfully I have never really been a big fan of Michigan. Not because I don't like the school or anything but because I can't do cold weather and covert racist people. I just don't know how to tell everyone that I hold so dear to me that a little piece of my heart has always been in VA! There is just something about that place that just speaks to me. I love the dedication to culture, weather, Metro, and not to mention my mother and sisters are there. So I guess to answer everyone's question: YES!!! I can't wait to see what is waiting for me when I head home! No longer do I want to look at my move in a negative light I am prayerful that something good will come from this! I'm just excited to ...

I think that I have out-grown a friendship. The thing is I don't know what to do about the situation. I mean I care about this person and at one time cared about them as more than just a friend but I'm not sure where we are right now. I mean in reference to our friendship. We started out as friends and then things evolved into a relationship only to disintegrate back into a friendship. Not that anything is wrong with that but right now I'm sure if I want to even be friends anymore. And no nothing terrible was done to me, I don't hate him or anything, actually he's the only male friend that I tell my deep and darkest secrets to, but I just don't know anymore. As much as I have grown I feel like he hasn't. Yes, he has gotten older, gotten involved in a new relationship, and even ventured onto grad school. With all of this he still seems stagnant. The same issues still keep him up at night, he still makes the same comments, his thought process is still the same...

I don't think that I can express my love of college football enough. I really don't even know where to begin! There is something about it! It does something to me. There is nothing like a Saturday afternoon in September. The excitement, the love, the heart! To me it's something that every other sport doesn't have. Which is why when my dad text me with this proposition I couldn't refuse. Early this morning my dad picked me up and took me to Jackson, MI to help with a football camp was being held. To most this may not be exciting but I couldn't wait to stand on the field and watch my dad in action. As I walked down the sideline it hit me that this is where I needed to be. I had no complaints the whole day actually I kind of felt at peace the whole day. I loved the sound of the whistles, watching the drills, I just loved it all. I honestly can't do anything else with my life!! I have to coach college football!! There is just nothing like it! And I hope to one d...

After Bible Study last night something hit me; that I have the tendency to be apathetic about things that happen to me in life. I'm willing to just see what happens. Which at times can be a good thing but I have come to realize it hasn't been working for me. There are some things that I need to be more proactive about: 1. My relationship with God. See it's not just enough that I am saved. There is way more to being connected to God then going to church one day a week and telling people that I'm a Christian. While I'm not going to be perfect there are numerous things that I can be doing to strengthen and expand my faith. Beginning with what I do at home. I have always thought that it was possible to just read the Bible once maybe twice a week, pray when I was need of something and everything be OK. This I have come to realize is not true. In order to have the relationship with God that I desire I need to be in constant communication with the Lord. And this has to sta...

No this isn't a post about one day when I woke and couldn't remember the night before nor about how hilariously funny the movie is...but about how I will miss two very important people in my life. Since my time in Michigan I have met a lot of people. And a few of them will be friends forever but these two amazing and dynamic women are something special. What I will miss most is moments like this sitting up eating Coconut shrimp and laughing at the nonsense that is The Hangover. You see being a Michigan student it's very hard to not be surrounded around academics. There are not many opportunities in which we can sit and be people. And I love the two of them because I am able to just be me. They know everything there is to know about me and accept me. And I haven't really found that since the 4th grade! But I say all of this to say that I will miss them so much when I'm all the way in VA! But I do believe that no matter what the distance I will always have Christina C...

I have been going crazy for the past couple of days!!! Not for the obvious reasons of school but because Wale dropped is new Mixtape More About Nothing ! As I sit here finally having the chance to listen to it I am more than impressed!!! Not just because it's Wale but because of what he has done with this mixtape. This is not just a mixtape to be a mixtape. It's clear that Wale is a lyricists to the fullest. I find myself re-listening to lyrics in order to catch what he is doing!! At this point I think he needs to venture into releasing a spoken word album. This is what hip hop is all about! I should be able to listen to an album/mixtape and feel like I gained brain cells..not lost some! Every thing is clever from the lyrics to the intro to the songs! I'm in love! Now if only my ipod would unfreeze so I could put on there!!

This entire blog will be dedicated to The Greatest rapper EVER (well in my eyes at least) WALE!!!! Tomorrow his mixtape More About Nothing drops! And I am EXCITED!!!! And I don't even think that's the right word! I can't wait. I have never been on top of mixtapes and blah blah but I have to have this one!! Like it's imperative to my life at this point! I can't even describe how giddy it makes me!! I have lost the ability to be eloquent I just need this mixtape!! Oh yeah and to meet him in person!! Alright I'm done ranting about Wale!!!