Grace: /ɡrās/ : noun : courteous goodwill. : verb : do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one's presence.
I am a professional at extending grace to others. Simply because everyone makes mistakes, learns, and grows. Since that is a fact of life, people will do things that will hurt your feelings and make you upset and if you never extend grace to others for those mistakes then you will forever be kicking people out of your life. Personally, that sounds exhausting.
I'm also a professional at shouldering pain. I experienced trauma early on in life and in working with my therapist, I have learned that this early trauma has led me to accept more pain than I deserve. I have an uncanny ability to figure out how I deserved the unfair treatment I've received or how I needed to understand the experiences of others. No matter how others treated me, I always worked to gain insight into what experiences could have encouraged their behavior. I am still actively working to unlearn these "truths"
With all of my energies going towards these two "professions" I'm awful at extending grace to myself. I am unabashedly hard on myself, I have unattainable expectations, and I demoralize myself when I can't reach and/or maintain those expectations. The fact that I am unwilling to extend necessary grace to myself, makes if difficult for others to extend grace to me as well. This is not an excuse for anyone'e behavior towards me because they need to hold themselves accountable for their actions. Although, I can also acknowledge that how I treat myself can have an impact on how others will inevitably treat me. If I don't think I'm worthy of grace than others won't either. They will inevitably not extend grace to me. They will anticipate perfection and accept nothing less from me. Those mistakes that I so willingly let slide when others make them seem like impenetrable boulders when I make them.
Most people are way more comfortable asking grace than they are giving grace to others. I wonder why that is? Why are people so comfortable demanding grace than giving it? Hell, why are we so willing to dole out grace to others but not ourselves with the same veracity?
I am a professional at extending grace to others. Simply because everyone makes mistakes, learns, and grows. Since that is a fact of life, people will do things that will hurt your feelings and make you upset and if you never extend grace to others for those mistakes then you will forever be kicking people out of your life. Personally, that sounds exhausting.
I'm also a professional at shouldering pain. I experienced trauma early on in life and in working with my therapist, I have learned that this early trauma has led me to accept more pain than I deserve. I have an uncanny ability to figure out how I deserved the unfair treatment I've received or how I needed to understand the experiences of others. No matter how others treated me, I always worked to gain insight into what experiences could have encouraged their behavior. I am still actively working to unlearn these "truths"
With all of my energies going towards these two "professions" I'm awful at extending grace to myself. I am unabashedly hard on myself, I have unattainable expectations, and I demoralize myself when I can't reach and/or maintain those expectations. The fact that I am unwilling to extend necessary grace to myself, makes if difficult for others to extend grace to me as well. This is not an excuse for anyone'e behavior towards me because they need to hold themselves accountable for their actions. Although, I can also acknowledge that how I treat myself can have an impact on how others will inevitably treat me. If I don't think I'm worthy of grace than others won't either. They will inevitably not extend grace to me. They will anticipate perfection and accept nothing less from me. Those mistakes that I so willingly let slide when others make them seem like impenetrable boulders when I make them.
Most people are way more comfortable asking grace than they are giving grace to others. I wonder why that is? Why are people so comfortable demanding grace than giving it? Hell, why are we so willing to dole out grace to others but not ourselves with the same veracity?
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