And just like that.....

I'm not too sure what is up with me. But right now my heart feels like it weighs a ton! I should be thrilled because I'm going on a trip this weekend. But I guess I just have some things on my heart that I haven't released. Today I have been bothered with my job. I just feel so under appreciated and over worked. At times i feel like they all the work I do goes unnoticed. So today I decided to speak up and express how I'm feeling about something and then I feel as if I was made to feel bad. I mean I never take breaks I never think of myself and when I do it back fires. I'm just worried now that people won't take me seriously now. I'm just over this job. And necessarily in a negative way but I think it's time for me to move on. I need a job related to sports to help prepare me for grad school. For a while I was feeling kind of good about myself. I have been working out a lot lately and I've been pretty consistent. There was even a guy who showed inter...

I recently heard that Detroit Public Schools were going some really hard times! And that really upsets me: 1. Because a lot of people close to my heart were educated in DPS 2. Education is so important to me. It's one of the biggest injustices to me to deny people an education! I love learning! And I mean LOVE!! I feel that everyone has something they could teach me and I'm willing to learn it! But I also thoroughly enjoy formal education. I was the weird child that enjoyed going to school. As much as I stressed during my days at U of M there were so many things about it I enjoyed. I just wish that the government would realize the importance of education and how much of a dis-service they are doing America by taking education away from youth.

I have always understood the difference between a want versus a need. Growing up in a single parent home with two younger sisters I just always told myself that there were things I could live without. And at times I still have that mentality. But I must say that right now I want and need a car. Sharing one with my mother is stressing me out. We have conflicting schedules and I feel bad that I am dictating what she has to do with HER vehicle! I'm also tired of staying in every night. I want to go out and be social and I would do that with my car! But I don't feel comfortable driving all over The Area with her car! So I need a car! It doesn't have to be new...or have all the fixins...just not too many miles and doesn't need too much work! I would be happy! Oh yeah I would like it to be ALL BLACK!! I just think that it would be so sexy!!!

I really wonder what has happened to manners!! It seems to me that the "trendy" thing now-a-days is to be rude. Now, don't get me wrong I can partake in the quick jabs and jokes with the best of them but seriously everybody? There is something to being polite. Looking out for each other...being aware of people. It kills me that no one says please or thank you. How did those things become uncool? Who is said it was alright to let doors close in front of someone? Not give up your seats to the elderly? Not smile at others? What will it take to get everyone back to those days? I will be doing my best to stay positive and bring some of this back! I have to least practice what I preach because if I don't I now plenty of people that will be willing to call me out!!

I really need to get a job now that is centered around sports! I need to gain some exposure to the field/area in which I aspire to have a career! While I am grateful that I have a job I am becoming restless and can't stop thinking about how I would much rather be doing something I love. So if anybody hears of anything please let me know I will be forever indebted to you! I just need to make this happen! I would be so happy!

No this a sappy post about a guy but about my mother. I have been through a lot in my little 23 years of life and I do mean a lot. I can honestly only give myself a small amount of credit for my accomplishments. My mother is the one who made everything possible. She gave up so much for me and my sisters. At times I feel that I haven't done a good job repaying her. I know that I have graduated from college and I plan on attending graduate school but I just feel that after all she's giving me I haven't done enough! I don't think there's any way to thank her for all the love, motivation, and support she has given me! And it's all because she loved me! Honestly the power of love is amazing!

If you don't know Wale is my FAVORITE rapper EVER!!! Now that we have that clear I just have to say that I don't know how I feel about him singing to Maybach Music. I am not a fan of Rick Ross and I hope he doesn't taint the purity and realness of Wale! I will see where this goes...but I have to say that initially I am not to enthused about this news...

I know I do! I have come to realize that I have been truly blessed with some truly amazing people in my life!! Yesterday was an icky day...I discussed why in a previous post and all day at work I was down. No one knew why they just knew I was not my normal self and everyone around me kept trying to brighten my day! And that made me feel loved. I have a hard time letting people in and when I call someone a friend that means a lot. And it made me realize that people do care about me. I won't list all the people that I consider friends but I want to thank you all for being there for me! Through the good and bad times (and if you're thinking to yourself we never had any bad times...then maybe we're not really friends). I want you to know that I appreciate you! I may not say enough..or at all even but trust me you're appreciated! Thank you!

Right before I go to work today I get this, "We should just be friends" text from this guy who I have gone on a couple of dates with. First of all it was a text..like I'm not even worth a conversation! You couldn't have answered the phone when I called or picked up the phone to call me and discussed these so called family issues. Second, I believe that this family problems excuse is some BULL SHIT! We just had a conversation about how I'm uncomfortable with the thought of sex and blah blah blah and now all of a sudden you're having family problems? When less than 24 hours ago you were expressing to me how much you liked me! BULL SHIT!! I just don't understand how it's so effing easy for everyone to be my friend! I'm grateful yes but nobody wants anything more than that. I have never been one of those all men are dogs women because I refuse to put them all in that category...but come on! I just wish guys would take the understand me as opposed to ju...

Last week a nice guy came into to Trader Joe's and asked me for my number. Now this wasn't the first encounter we had...so he's not a creeper. He used to come into my line and buy food on his break and make conversation. He told me he couldn't stop thinking about me and decided that he would come ask for my number. I gave it to him and we started talking! We have quite a bit in common..which made me feel really good. Last Saturday we went on a date and I had a GREAT time! The movie was awful but that wasn't what was on mind. I just kept thinking about how great of a time I was having. So today I thought we would see each other and that didn't happen. And because I am the way I am...I feel that I am in some way scaring him off. That he no longer has interest in me. Maybe I'm jumping the gun but that is all I keep thinking about. I hope that's not true because I would really enjoy seeing him again. This life! Side note: My mom made a really good point the ...