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A father's love

While I was in therapy I dealt a lot with my abuse but another major component were my 'daddy issues.'  When I was very young my parents divorced and during my very delicate formative issues my father wasn't present.  It wasn't until I entered college that my father and I forged any type of bond.  I know that a small reason in this was my close proximity to him being at U of M.  A larger reason was because I decided that I needed to forgive my father's absence.  I had a very heartfelt conversation with my pastor at the time about how in actuality my father didn't really owe me anything and how he wasn't given a strong model of what a father should be.  I could spend the rest of my days angry with him or work towards building a relationship.  I in turn chose the latter.  I wasn't going to wake with my father no longer present wishing I had take advantage.  I owe myself the opportunity of knowing my father and allowing him to love me.  Too much of my life has been filled with hat albeit for myself or those who have hurt me.  Either way I've wasted so much energy on being angry.  My father genuinely loves me.  Yes, he made mistakes in the past but if I hold those against him forever I would never grow.  I'm thankful to be given this opportunity and ready for the new beginnings!
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