Skip to main content

What a boy wants....

If only I knew!

It seems that no matter what, I am just not what guys are interested in. I have never been able to understand this. I'm very understanding and don't jump to conclusions. I LOVE sports meaning we could watch the games together! I don't like romance movies meaning when we go to the movies my date wouldn't have to sit in boredom as I shed tears over the same ole generic romance plot! I tend to think I'm pretty smart...I mean I graduated from high school with an Advanced diploma and survived Michigan! People have told me I'm pretty funny so that means you would be entertained. And everyday of my life my mother made it point to tell me how beautiful I am! And even with all of this I'm still not "beating them away with a stick."

And this confuses me.

All my guy friends have always come to me for advice on girls..sometimes someone I'm very close to. And not to put down other people but what is that they have I don't? It just seems no matter what the situation I'm always the one not getting approached. And I'm not trying to evaluate my self worth on the attention from the opposite sex but for everyone to tell me how wonderful and gorgeous I am; something just isn't adding up.

I try not to think of myself as damaged goods but I wonder if my past has caused me to be unapproachable in the present. No, I don't believe that I have "survivor of childhood sexual abuse" engraved on my forehead but maybe there is something about my body language that keeps guys at an arm's length. Maybe guys can sense that there is something else there that I'm not sharing....

Or maybe guys don't even really know what they want...
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Guess who's back?!

Remember when I said that this blog was going to be a space where I discussed and highlighted my PhD journey? Now, remember when that didn't happen? Getting a doctorate is HARD, y'all. And, you may being saying, "duh, girl! We know!" but this journey was one of the most difficult journeys I have ever been on and because of that fact, I didn't have or make the time to update this blog. It simply wasn't a priority and I was trying to stay afloat for the past four years. So, let's recap a few things. I proposed my dissertation on October 5, 2019, started collecting data in January, defended my dissertation on April 19, 2019, and graduated on May 2, 2019!! So, now that all of the milestones have been mentioned, and I have more time to dedicate to other types of writing, I'm going to highlight my journey retrospectively. Sit back and get ready to hear all of the academic tea!
Post a Comment
Read more

Ode to Ann Arbor

In about 4 days I will be saying farewell to Ann Arbor. And like I said before I'm excited to be going home but there is also a saddens that surrounds my move. I have done a lot of growing, changing, experiencing, and evolving here! So to have to say farewell to all of that is going to be difficult. I will miss: 1. Second Baptist!! I learned a lot about myself at this church. I am glad to call this my church home because without them I would probably be a hot mess! The one thing I can say faithfully is that my journey with them is not over! There are still things that need to be done here I will be back! 2. My friends!! I have met so many different people here. Some that will never leave, some that kept me entertained during class and others that I have drifted away from. But they all had a part in Michigan experience. 3. Gamma Delta! I have been through a lot with these young women and couldn't have asked to be part of a better, more productive, or more illustrious chapter!! T...
2 comments
Read more

Elena I Choose You...well not just you, also somebody else, but mostly you.

When I started my PhD journey, I was under the impression that I was some Golden Child chosen by my advisor to be her one true protege. That she had waited years upon years for me, and that once we communicated in was written in stone that I would be her student. That her and I were going to be handing out proverbial academic cuss outs to the sport management world about how they were systematically leaving Black women out. That's not exactly what happened, during the week of orientation, I found out that my advisor had brought on another student. I...was hurt. I felt like I wasn't enough. I...felt inadequate.  Inadequate : in·ad·e·quate /inˈadikwət/ adj : not adequate : insufficient : lacking the quality or quantity required; insufficient for a purpose. That feeling of inadequacy, those thoughts, they stayed with me throughout the entire program; exacerbating feelings of inadequacy that were already there.  Why was I not enough?  Why did she need someone e...
Post a Comment
Read more